Day 1: Adjust Your Mindset

Today we’re going to show you how to Adjust Your Mindset. It's SUPER SIMPLE and it involves you spending some time getting to know yourself and some of your underlying triggers that can impact the outcome of the discussion you are about to have with your significant other.

Let’s learn how to Adjust Your Mindset

1)We want you to practice asking yourself these questions right now! If there is an issue going on in your relationship right now, definitely, ask yourself these questions before engaging with your significant other around any topic that you feel could cause you to have negative communication with your significant other. These questions also apply in other types of relationships.

· What are you thinking about your partner in this moment?

· What are you feeling about your partner in this moment?

· How was your day and could it have an impact on how you might interact with your partner?

· Do you have any negative feelings about yourself in this moment?

o  What brought those on for you?

o  Are there any possible triggers from your past, in your current life, or in your current environment that could be impacting you?

· How is your mood in this moment?

· Is what’s being discussed a Hot Topic for you? Or, Do you have topics in your relationship that you tend to try to avoid discussing?

· Do you have negative assumptions about how your partner will respond to you? If so:

o  What brought those on for you?

o  What has happened between you and your partner in the past that could be impacting you now?

o  What feelings did you experience in past disagreements and/or arguments with your partner?

2)Find a window to be open-minded about the conversation and the person. Being open-minded is important in communication. Going into a conversation or an argument with your mind already made up about something negative in the situation is a set up for a negative interaction. An example of a window is focusing on one of the other person's strengths or skills. Write at least one thing positive about your partner to focus on.

3)The biggest block to open-mindedness is making assumptions. There are several types of assumptions-Assumptions about how someone is feeling, what someone is thinking, what someone might do or say, or the other person's character. Assumptions are usually pretty critical of either yourself or the other person and they are a major stumbling block to effective communication. An example is thinking the other person is going to overreact or lie or not going to want to hear what you have to say. What assumptions usually impact how you communicate or listen? Write at least 1 that comes up often for you.

Now you might still be curious as to how this is going to grow into you communicating like a pro and get you to listen and be heard, right?

Question: What to do when your thoughts affect your communication?